More about the purpose of this Web site
This site is about helping people to deal with the death of a loved one. About solving some problems
that people experience with regards to a friend or a loved one passing away. Some of the problems that
have never before been addressed are:
People have questions
When someone dies, people ALWAYS want to desperately know "the story behind the story". What
others experienced, what happened just before, what were the circumstances. These questions are
sometimes a little bit personal, or they don't want to bother the family with questions
"at a time like this". So often, because information is not available, people will talk among
each other, and this will give rise to the next problem:
Urban Legends
There are always amazing stories that people tell about the events relating to the death of someone.
These stories are often disrespectful to the loved ones of the deceased, as well as disrespectful
to the memory of the deceased. Yet there is nothing that those left behind can do about it, because they
cannot easily communicate with all those telling the stories. So stories just keep on growing and getting
worse and even embarassing with time. We all know about all the stories and theories around the deaths of
well known people like Bruce Lee, Pricess Dianna, Elvis Presley, to name a few. There are just as many
stories going around about the less known people, only they are not as widely publicized. It doesn't change
the fact that these loved ones still need to deal with a whole lot of unnecessary pain and often embarrassment.
Some can't attend the funeral
Some loved ones live overseas, or in such a remote area that they can't attend the funeral, but still want
that personal contact, want to know what others are thinking and feeling. They want to feel as if they are
part of it all. Currently, the only way is to phone or email all the people involved regularly, and to keep up to date
in that way. This is a cumbersome method, especially when time zones become relevant. And with email, it's usually
a one to one conversation, so people are not involved as a group.
People can't be together as a group
Dealing with the death of a loved one, is a process that, traditionally, people would go through together.
One that progresses from initial anger, to eventual acceptance, and people support each other throughout,
because they are not doing it alone. This process sometimes take a bit of time. In most black communities,
the loved ones of the deceased will remain together for a week or even more, talking, sharing, feeling,
crying, laughing, until everyone has found peace.
In today's life, we can't take a week and just all be together and say all that needs to be said. There's
no way to get all the concerned loved ones together for a period of time that is long enough for everyone
to find peace and comfort through their mutual interactions, communication and sharing.
Unrelated people want to get in contact
Scenario: A passer by performed CPR, but the victim died in his arms. Often times this passer by have no way
to contact the family of the victim, and those left behind have no way to contact this passer by. The family
want to say thank you, and want to know "what were his last words?". The passer by is haunted by the thought
of a stranger dying in his arms, and want to know about the people involved, and more about the victim, in order
to deal with it all.
In some cases, someone is being looked for, he was a witness to a crime, or might have some other important
information regarding the death of the person. Currently, the only way to track down someone like that is to
place a small add in the local newspaper, which is most of the time not effective at all.
The solution
All these problems are solved by creating a web page for the deceased, where people can come together, read
messages, write new messages, communicate to each other, and go through it all together. People that played a
role in this person's life are sometimes not even known to the family, and in this way they can all share
information, and all work through things and support each other and get to know each other.
A place where a memory can live forever
These virtual resting places never need to be removed. This will be a place where people can come to pay
tribute to a loved one for many years to come. People can also add more messages, even years after a person
has died. Messages such as: "Your murderer was sentenced to life imprisonment today", or "happy birthday dear"
spring to mind.
Anyone can add messages or show respects
Only one person (elected by the loved ones) will provide the initial information of the deceased. After that,
the page will be public, and people can write messages that relate to this person and his life.
Importantly: People can also add messages to estranged family members or friends, who are likely to visit the
site at some point in time.
Anyone can read and browse
Anyone, even those who didn't know the deceased, can read messages that others wrote about the deceased.
Anyone who has ever been at a cemetery, has probably found themselves looking at the tombstones of complete strangers.
Just wondering about, reading the dates, and reading the captions. Here, anyone can browse also. People can come in,
and just look around, exactly like someone strolling through the isles in a cemetery.
Estranged family and friends
This website would also provide an excellent means of re-establishing contact with estranged family members and
friends. Very often people would meet each other at a funeral, but the circumstances are such that they don't swap
contact details. On a website like this they could re-establish contact with each other after the funeral.
A note to those visiting the site because of the loss of a loved one
Even though this website can make things a little easier and a little more practical, there is nothing that we
or anyone else can do to fill that emptiness that you feel inside. All we can do is to pray for strength to carry
on, and to work through this, no matter what. At Never Forgotten, we see each and every person that is added to this
database. You are in our prayers.
A note to those just visiting for the sake of looking around
No-one can even remotely comprehend the raw emotions that are at play behind the words you are going to read on these
pages, unless you yourself are in that situation. We remind you that, even though this website looks just like any
other in the anonymous world of the Internet, they were written by real people with real, very tender feelings.
Therefore, as an "outsider", tread lightly. Read these writings with the respect they deserve.
And if you are going to write any messages regarding any person on this site, we advise you to write such messages
with utmost respect. Again, these are real people with real feelings. Don't mess with that. You've been warned.
Feel free to have a look at our
Existing Tributes.
Click here to pay tribute to a loved one, or to purchase a tribute as a gift to a family who has lost someone